• Anya Wikramanayake

You Told Me to Let Go

Sometimes I still look back and expect you to be standing there,

No, you're not there.

You told me to let go, but I'm just a person who grabs hold of what made me happy- a little tighter, a little while longer. Even if what made me happy, left me stranded, lost and angry.Don’t worry, I know it was never intended to hurt me, but it did. You left a permanent scar behind, and nothing seems to make it heal, or make it numb.

You told me to let go, but most times, I don’t think that’s possible. It’s like trying to grab your scent off the shelves, from your clothes, latching onto the best memories that we had, or really just anything that reminded me of you.

You told me to let go, but the thought of you facing this with ease, makes me angry. So many conflicting thoughts running through my mind . Do you feel the burden lifted off your shoulders, now that I'm not around?

I know that this is the reason I need to loosen my grip, but I can't seem to get myself to listen to the rationality of it all. With time it will click into place. Like the cogs in an antique clock. I will apologize for assuming that I wasn’t worth anything to you. I will realize that you are also in pain, but unlike me you have always refused to show it . I will soon realize that you walked away, making a hard decision between what you wanted and what I deserved. I will know you’re somewhere there, not always cheering me on but just hoping that I choose a path that makes me happy.

You told me to let go, but maybe I am still trying to hold on. Sometimes when I catch myself finally letting go, I reach out to hold onto everything a little while longer.

I look back sometimes and I see that you’ve walked away, choosing the difficult path to ensure the best for us both.